Keep on Truckin’

So, I've been quiet for a while... mostly because I've had nothing to say about my weight loss. I've hit a plateau and am still stuck at 17 lbs lost. I gained one, I lost one, I gained 2, I lost 3, I gained one... it's just hovering. 

Of course, I know why this is -- I've not been diligently following Weight Watchers. Not that I've gone nuts, mind you, but I've been lax in my counting of points, doing a lot of eyeballing.  Still making mostly healthy choices, but admittedly, not trying that hard.  I have started going to the gym more often which I'm sure is probably what's keeping me from going backwards, but I really need to focus. 

The gym-attendance has been about 3 time a week on average, but I need to increase that. I go three days and then I take a rest day and it all goes to hell in a handbasket. I just can't seem to bring myself to go back after a rest day. I think maybe not taking one is better -- it's not like I'm training for Mr. Olympia, I'm doing 30 minutes of cardio. Doing that every day is perfectly fine and I don't think my body really needs a rest day. Maybe when I get further along and start working out harder, but for now, rest days seem to be my downfall.

I'm going back to San Diego in five weeks for a 4-day trip to see my friends and get my annual physical done with my doctor. I lose my California insurance on June 1st and with it, my doctor, so I want to see her before I go. She's a wonderful doctor and has always been really supportive of me and my weight loss.  To the point that I worry I disappoint her when I go in to see her and haven't lost (or worse, gained) weight.  I'll have to find another doctor for my duration here in Las Vegas, but I'll definitely return to her once I move back to California.

In the meantime, I'm squeezing out everything I can from my insurance, which means I'm also going in for a mammogram, which I skipped last year, but need to start doing annually now that I'm almost 38 and my mom had breast cancer.  I want to make sure to stay on top of it.

I also want to be down about 10-15 pounds more before I go. I think that's a totally doable amount, but I have to actually do it and stop dicking around.  I want my doctor to see that I've been making changes, that it's really happening.  It's sloooooooowwww, but it's happening.  Right now, I'm still a weight she's seen me at before, so my goal is to reach a weight she's never had in her charts so that she can feel confident that I'm on the right track.  Hell, I want me to feel confident that I'm on the right track.  This is important to me and I need to prioritize.

I have friends coming in from out of town this weekend and there will definitely be adult libations, but I'll try to keep the dining out indulgences to a minimum. Starting Monday it's back to it so I can meet my short-term goal of 10-15 lbs by May 21st..  Maybe saying it here will make me not want to embarrass myself by slacking off.

Sometimes, I get upset with myself for not doing well enough, not trying hard enough, but beating myself up isn't going to make it any easier.  I've not gained any weight, I've made changes to my lifestyle and now I just need to crank that up a knotch. All I can do when I fall is dust myself off and keep going, like I've done my whole life.