Whoa, Whoa, Whoa Feelings.
I finished my first week back on Weight Watchers and lost 2.2 lbs. This is a completely reasonable and healthy amount, exactly what I should have lost. So, on the surface, I'm happy. But underneath, there's a niggling disapproval. "All that for only two pounds? But you logged every morsel!" "It's your first week, you should've lost at least 3 lbs." "You drank all that water, why didn't you lose more?" Etcetera, etcetera...
I've also just decided I don't like the word "niggling".
Anyway, this isn't my first time at the fat ass rodeo, so I'm totally aware of all the usual consolations that people come back with when someone says such things. "But two pounds a week is healthy." "You shouldn't lose more than that, slow is best." And assorted other "don't give up!"-type mantras.
And I appreciate those kind words, I do. But I find them frustrating on occasion. I guess I want someone to say, "Hey, man, I know how you feel" instead of blowing sunshine up my ass. This is why I don't talk about my feelings surrounding weight loss too much because instead of focusing on the fact that I said "I FEEL this way", comments focus on the above-mentioned rah-rah stuff. It's not about that. I know that 2 lbs is the right amount. I know that slow is best. I know, I KNOW. I KNOW!!!!
But that doesn't stop me from feeling like it's not. I don't expect the internet to be my therapist or have the right thing to say -- I know people are kind and only trying to help, but I guess I'm just realizing that accepting emotional support is not my forte. I get defensive and feel like the support is directed at things I already know (my father always said I was a know-it-all) instead of on the thing I'm really seeking support for.
Selfish, right? Bratty, even? Agreed. I'm not above admitting that.
Perhaps the answer is being more clear with the support I'm seeking. I don't want people to be afraid to talk to me or seek support from me because they think I won't be receptive. That's the last thing I want -- if someone wants me to blow unicorns and rainbows up their ass and spout "YOU GO GIRL!", I'll do that. Because that's what they want. That's not what I want, I guess. I don't want assholery, I want... "I hear you and I get it", I guess.
I can't expect people to know exactly what to say. That's not fair of me. Everyone is in the same boat, doing their best to get by or make it through. It's not all about me -- again, something I already know. I can't help how I feel. All I can do is try to change my attitude about it.
Sigh. I suck at joining.
They Said Stuff!
You’ll get no mantras from me, I totally do know how you feel! I think that’s why I’ve had such a hard time sticking to WW or Lose it or anything like that lately. It just feels like SO much work every week to calculate and record everything and then MAYBE I’ll lose 1 or 2 lbs. I know it’s the “right” way, but damn, it can be so disappointing when you feel like you’ve worked really hard and don’t have much to show for it. And a 1-2 lb. loss can disappear so easily. I just have to slip up and go eat Mexican or Pizza one night and I’ve gained it back and it feels like the last week was a total waste. Ugh, can you tell I’m bitter?
I think it’s mindset thing. I’ve been determined enough in the past to keep going despite disappointments but lately it’s harder. Maybe you just need to own your feelings, whatever they are, and power through them?
I totally get this. Every single week, even if I lose every week, I am still disappointed that it’s “only” one pound or two or whatever it is. It’s probably an awful mindset, but I can’t help it. I feel like I should be dropping weight like CRAZY.
Dude. DUDE.
Dude
Whenever I start “eating better”, I lose 4-5 lbs the first week and I’m all “Eye of the Tiger” up in this bitch. But then…2 lbs. 1.5 lbs. NOTHING. AND IT’S SUPER LAME.
You lost a healthy amount, and that’s awesome. But GODDAMN HEALTHY IS SOOOOOOOOO SLOW AND FRUSTRATING AND I COULD BE EATING DELICIOUS BULLSHIT FOR ALL THE GOOD THIS DOES. I constantly have to do the math in my head to remind myself that YES it does add up and NO eating the whole bag of cheese will not help.
I LOVE you guys right now. THANK YOU. This is exactly what I wanted.
Now, am I suggesting we should all wallow around in our woe is me, I miss nachos misery? NO, of course not, but sometimes I wish people would take the soft focus lens off “the journey” and just go, “Dude, that’s balls.”
I’m right with you, girl. Yeah, a “yay, that’s great” is nice to hear, but I’d also like to sometimes have people engage in real conversation. Ask me what I did differently, no matter whether I went up or down, to help me focus on what I *did* do that may have made the difference. Offer up a suggestion for something new I can try, or some tweak I can do to help along the way. And yes, I too find small losses frustrating, even when there are several in a row. I want to do what the people on those shows do who lose 30 lbs in 6 weeks or whatever, but then I realize that I don’t have someone following me around making me do the work that’s required to get there, and I’m just not going to get up off my ass and do it all on my own. Not to that degree, anyway. So I’m here with the slow moving track record that doesn’t always go down, and I try to be happy with it. Good for you with the loss, and even better for facing your feelings about it
By the way, I’ve recently figured out that at a slow and steady pace I can actually be at (or at least reasonably near) my goal by the time I turn 40 next year. That’s my new motivation, and as long as I can remember that every day I think it’ll help. I’ve spent the last 2 decades going up and up, I’ll be damned if I start a new one the same way.
I miss nachos. YEAH I SAID IT.
This makes total sense. Sometimes our deepest thoughts just aren’t rational. We don’t want to hear that, either. It’s okay to get a pep talk, but I think it’s important to first say “hey, what you feel is totally OK and normal. You’re not the only one that has ever had that thought.” It validates you, tells you that you aren’t insane.
And THEN start the pep talk.
Also, I think there is a lot of pressure (especially in a WW room, and especially from those who work in one) to remain positive. The power of positive thinking! No negative thoughts! But the reality is that sometimes our brains go that way whether we want to or not. And that’s OK. It can just become a problem if we don’t acknowledge and move on. Sometimes though, you just want to be in a little funk for a bit.
ositive. The power of positive thinking! No negative thoughts! But the reality is that sometimes our brains go that way whether we want to or not. And that’s OK. It can just become a problem if we don’
Do You Have Something to Declare?